July has done with me what winter does to cherry trees
you picked a few before they were ready
you could not wait for the season running its course

and wiping your mouth, spitting the pit out,
you say I've never been the one you fell in love with two
and one half years ago. who was I then?

I'm afraid of losing a life I never had
and I've lost the part of myself
that knew how things are

wish I could be jagged in your apathy
I cannot shudder myself in
fold up, cold girl
wish I could hang a sign says "too jaded; do not disturb"

but the windows are open and goddamn this front door -
I cannot keep it closed
you could walk right in and ruin my theater
and walk right out again

and I'm afraid of losing a life I never had
and I've lost the part of myself
that knows how things are